I'm officially half way into twenties! What! How? When did this happen? 

Funny story, I actually wrote this post around my 23rd birthday and it's been chilling in my drafts for the last two years. After a few tweaks it's finally seeing the light! The 20's are a time for growth, experimenting and learning. The early and mid 20's are especially filled with growing pains as we work our way from those awkward teenage years into full blown (and even more awkward) adulthood. Below are 20 things that I've has to learn the hard way, I hope this saves someone a bit of those growing pains or at least offers some company as we grit our teeth and work through it.
  1. You're going to feel lost and it's OK to feel unsatisfied with where you are.
  2. Beauty doesn't have to be painful, expensive or excessive.
  3.  Neither do periods. 
  4. Save as much as you can afford to. Set financial goals every month and met them. 
  5.  Stop being jealous of other peoples lives!
  6.  Be flexible. Make big plans then go with the flow.
  7.  Long distance relationships take work but they can work.
  8.  Wash kinky hair in sections or twists.  
  9.  Job hunting isn't always easy. It may take a little time and a lot of patience but you'll get there.
  10. Everyone expresses love differently but it's all equal. No, that's a lie it's not always equal but it doesn't have to be.
  11. Be a reliable person. Try to avoid making promises that know you can't or won't deliver on.
  12.  Not everyone you meet will like you and that's totally fine. You will not like everyone you meet and that is also fine. Be kind and show respect. Always.
  13.  Spend less time on social media. Log off for a bit and head outside for a walk, read a book or cook a meal.
  14. Do your best, be your best possible self.  Your best is good enough.
  15.  It's OK to say no without providing an explanation.
  16. Lists work! Make a note of  the goals you've set, the groceries you need to purchase, the books you want to read, the places you'd like to visit and movies you'd like to see. Write everything down and experience the gratification of ticking them off.
  17. Find a go to hairstyle and learn how to create it on your own. 
  18.  You and your friends will change.
  19.  Self love is important and may take different forms.
  20.  Revel in the now and worry less. Things will fall into place.  It's so easy to get caught up in laying tomorrow's foundation. Remember to enjoy today; go to that event, have the chocolate covered ice-cream bar, choose big, colorful hair, stay up a later than you should. You'll never be this young again. 



 In the summer of 2013 "I went natural by accident".  I had my first relaxer at the age of 10 or 11 so after my big chop I had absolutely no idea what to do with the 1.5 inches of hair that was left on my head.  I've learnt a little more since then with thanks to YouTube, Instagram, Google and my own silly mistakes. 

Before we go any further, growing long healthy 4c hair takes time! Don't be discouraged if your hair retention isn't as exponential as that of your "YouTube/Instagram hair twin".

Here a few that I wish someone had told me at the beginning.


 1. Wash your hair in sections or twists.
This is a game changer. It makes wash days feel a little easier because you aren't overwhelmed with one, big head of hair! Placing hair into sections or twists also reduces tangles which is always a plus.   
2. Find a de-tangling method that works well for you.
Tangled, knotted hair is going to break, minimize that problem with regular de-tangling sessions. Regular for you could mean weekly, every two weeks or even monthly. Personally I only do an intensive de-tangling session on wash days. Contrary to popular belief using a comb isn't a sin against kinky hair and if done correctly and gently all of your hair won't end up on the floor when you're done. Whether you use tools, your fingers or a combination is your choice. A comb doesn't need to glide smoothly through your kinky tresses but ensuring that the hair is well de-tangled along it's entire length is key.

3. Cleanse your hair!
 Conditioner ONLY washing isn't the wisest option for most persons. Our hair needs to be cleansed! You can use shampoo, clay or whatever option you choose just be mindful that placing a conditioning agent on your hair then rinsing it off isn't going to give you the best clean. There's a reason we don't wash our skin with lotion.

4. Add moisture to your hair before it becomes too dry.
 Experiment with a moisture routine to find what works best for you and your hair. After you've moisturized your hair figure out how many days pass by before it becomes noticeably dry then apply moisture the day before your hair gets to that point.

5. Apply the same  products between wash days.
 Whenever you're moisturizing or styling your hair try to use the same set of products from one wash day until the next. Avoid confusing and stressing your hair by piling a variety products with different formulas unto your strands. This may also help to prevent product build up and flaking.

Help your fellow Naturals out. If you've got any healthy hair tips share them below!
 Some days you spend 3 hours installing a fabulous set of two strand mini twists that you absolutely love and can't wait to rock! On other days, you toil away in your natural hair for 8 hours only to end up with a head full of straggly, ugly twists that you can't justify taking out because you've just invested a full day of work on the installation.

These twists are staying in but you have to go out! What's a girl with a head of unwearable twists to do? No worries! I've got you. Keep reading for a couple of tips and tricks that will help you rock your "unwearable" twists.

1. Toss It Into An Updo

You can get creative with this first option. Depending on their size the twists can be styled in similar ways to loose hair.  Buns and Roll, Tuck and Pin styles work really well on twisted hair. Add some hair jewelry or beads to give the look some spice!




2. Wrap It Up

Head wraps are always a fun addition to your outfit of the day. You've got so many choices! You can even show off some of your unwearable twists or hide them all!




3. Fake It Girl

This one is a personal favorite! You get the look of a gorgeous, kinky puff but your hair is actually protected within those mini twists that were so patiently installed. Looser twists, especially at the root, will result in a more seamless and realistic look. It's honestly a win, win situation.
 


There you have it! Three ways to rock your "unwearable" two strand twists.

Let us know! Do you have any interesting tips/tricks for wearing ugly twists.

Much Love
xx
 "I always do the same styles."

"You can't do anything with 4c hair!"

"Natural hair is difficult."

"It's so hard to style..."


Does that sound familiar? I've heard this refrain so many times and it's so sad. Funny enough, I've found myself muttering these same words under my breath while wrestling with this head of very kinky, coily, nappy, knotty hair! It can be a struggle. I know this. You know this. We all know this!

We accept the fact that kinky hair isn't always easy to manipulate but we should also acknowledge that it's probably one of the most versatile textures around. Is there anything that our hair can't do? Sure, we have to put in a tiny bit of extra work and yes on other days we have to put in a few hours of extra work.  But isn't it worth it when your healthy head of kinky hair is done up in a gorgeous style?  

Below I've shared with you some of my favorite styles from the past five years.  All of the styles are pretty simple. There's quite a variety for you to choose from; high puffs, two strand twists, twist-outs with a twist and buns, buns and more buns.  You can modify most of them to suit whatever stage of the natural hair journey you're presently enjoying. Happy styling!

Much Love,
Charity









 


It's good to be back.

It's been years since I've consistently published blog posts but believe me, Deep Fried Stilettos has been alive and well in this daydreamer's thoughts. We've simply been awaiting the day when fear and procrastination would give way to endless possibilities and productivity. Today's that day, let's claim it!

Believe me, I'm still afraid to open myself up to negative criticism but there's so much that I want to share with you! So we're taking that leap. Ok? Are you with me?  Let's do this and do it right.

I've been contemplating the fate of my older posts. Oh, my word. Some of them are ridiculously cringe worthy!   I just want to delete the entire thing, throw the whole blog away! Literally. But, on the other hand I started blogging when I was 17 years old and fresh out of high school which is definitely a cringe worthy period! These pages hold so many memories and it's an absolute joy strolling down memory lane, regardless of the embarrassing pot hole or two!

There's so much that I'd love to share with you; my natural hair journey, nutrition, Caribbean living, health and wellness, so many ideas, my fingers simply can't type fast enough!

I  hope that you've been absolutely wonderful, blessed and showered with love.  Here's to new beginning!

Much Love,
Charity